WALT DISNEY WASHINGTON

What 4-year old twins talk about:

Diego:   Grace, do you know who invented Walt Disney World?

Grace:   Ah, no.

Diego:   You don't know?

Grace:   No.

Diego:   George Washington.

Grace:   George Washington?

Diego:   Ah, no, wait, another Wa, wa, wa... oh yeah, Walt Disney!

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NINJA DAD

Diego:  Papi, don't you ever wish you were a Ninja.
Me:        Ah, no, not really,
Diego:  How about a Ninja with a wife, 3 kids, a dog and a cat?


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Kid vs. Hippo

Diego: Papi, are hippos dangerous?
Me: Well, yeah, they're mean and they bite.
Diego: Well, I'm tough and I punch.

Kid wins.
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Morning Hair

Twins conversation in the a.m. after jolting me awake by pouncing on me:
Diego:  Why papi's hair is so funny?
Grace: 'Cause mami give to him the haircuts.
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Singing is Dangerous

A Diego & Grace (3-year old twins) conversation:

Grace: Diego, you want to sing with me?

Diego: No I can't. If I sing I will melt.

End of conversation.

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DINOSAURS vs. VEGGIES

"Dinosaurs probably don't like carrots, right?" — Lucas, 5
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Fear of (Whales) Drowning

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If whales open their mouths too much when they swim, can they drown? 
— Lucas, 5.

More Heavy Heaven Talk from a 5-year old

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Overheard this morning, a 5-year old to a 3-year old:


Lucas: Do you know what heaven is?
Diego: No.
Lucas: It's where you go when you get really sick or really old or like when a dog swallows a blanket.
Diego: Oh.

Breaking Roofs or Talking to God

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Another, 'almost too good to be true' story from our 5-year old questioner of everything. This one really left me scratching my head. I was literally, way out of my league. He wasn't, apparently.


So, we're on our way to visit my 93-year old grandfather who's been ailing for about a year now. My son asks me if he's still sick and I tell him the truth, 


"Yes, but he's still hanging in there." 


He looks at me and says, "Maybe he'll go to heaven soon, right?" I tell him only God knows that.


He says, "God can see everything from far, far away right?" I say yes.


The he says: "So how do people go up to heaven, do they break the roof or something?" I couldn't come up with an answer for that one, so I told him I didn't know.


He says, "Jesus might know. He sees far, far away too, right? Let me ask him... (He starts talking out loud): Jesus, Jesus, do you know, do you... Papi, I don't hear an answer. He doesn't hear me...

My grip on religious and metaphysical subjects is tenuous at best, so at that very moment, we arrived at my grandfather's house and I was able to change the subject. 


Thank God.

Floating Kid

Yesterday, after a birthday party, we come home with balloons, of course. After playing with them for a while, Lucas looks at his and asks me:


"Papi, what makes balloons float?"


Me: It's a gas called helium.
Lucas: What's a gas?
Me: It's like air, you can't see it, but it's there.


Lucas thinks and replies,


"Wow, what if I break the balloon, put the gas on my stomach and then maybe I can float too!"

Batman Dream

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Lucas: Papi, did you have the same Batman dream as mine?
Me: Lucas, everyone has different dreams.
Lucas: Oh. (thinking pause)
Me; Was your dream cool?
Lucas: Yeah.
Me: Cool.
Lucas: Do you think my dream will come true?

An Amazing Meal

On Sunday, my agency was on the verge of winning the Wendy's account and I thought, "What better way to send good vibes out to Dave Thomas up in heaven than to take the whole family out for a good meal." 


The rain was unstoppable and our 3-year old twins were on the verge of falling asleep on empty stomachs. Eating in at the restaurant was not an option 'cause of the storm, so my wife suggested we order drive-thru and just park and eat. So we did.


We ordered and parked under a Royal Poinciana tree in full bloom. 


The rain splattered our windshield with bright red flowers from the tree. It was kinda cool. Eating Wendy's inside the minivan, rain falling faster than the sun was setting, the kids happy, eating and playing with their kids meal toys. Is there's a better way to have a Sunday family meal? All together. Inside a minivan. OK, so... not exactly a traditional, around-the-table dinner experience, but same thing, really. 


To cap off the surreal, unusual but still awesome Sunday dinner, Lucas, our 5-year old, finishes his Cheeseburger kids meal, and says (unaided and umprompted), "Papi, that was an amazing meal."


And an amazing night that would be topped the very next day by even more amazing news: we won the Wendy's account.


Maybe Dave was listening. 


Gracias, Dave.

Why do people yawn?

Lucas: Papi, why do people yawn?
Me: Because it's time for bedtime.
Lucas (thinking): Ahm, I don't yawn.

Who invented the shape of numbers?

Another unanswerable question from our 5-year old questioner of everything:

"Who made the number 1 look like that? And why is 2 with that shape? And who did the curves on 3 look like this (makes 3 with his hands). What is the name of the man who did that?"

Diego today:

Papi, yo puede subir, subir subir y tocar Dios?
Dad, can I go up, up, up and touch God?

I'm still trying to come up with an answer for him.

SHE MOON TONIGHT!

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We were driving home last night and saw an amazing,
HUGE full moon lighting up the night.

My wife pointed it out to the kids, in Spanish,

"¡Miren niños, la luna!" (Look kids, the moon!)

Lucas: The moon is a girl? That's impossible... the moon is a planet!
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COINS, FOUNTAINS & WISHES

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I gave Lucas a coin to throw in a fountain and told him to make a wish because it was my last coin. Then I asked him,

ME:           Lucas, what did you wish for?
LUCAS:     I wished that you had more coins.

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BALDNESS MIRACLE CURE

Lucas at school this week.

During morning prayers, his teacher asked him,

"So, what are you praying for this morning?"

Lucas thought for a second and said,

"I pray to God that he can put hair on the top of my dad's head."

E is for Truck

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"Papi, look... an E truck. E is the letter of the week at school." — Lucas, 4.
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Stinks In Here

"Papi, this morning, in bed, I burped from my butt and then I burped from my butt again." Lucas, 4.

THE ROAD TRIP THREE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06___LOSdYw

FUNNY HA HA.

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SPANISH: "¿Mami, ja ja qué Mami, ja ja qué?"
ENGLISH: "Mami, ha ha what Mami, ha ha what?"

My wife was on the phone with someone, laughing it up.

Diego just wanted to know what was so funny.
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#1 ENEMY OF KIDS EVERYWHERE: SLEEP.

"How long until the morning is here?" — Lucas, 4.

(Lucas's bedtime question).
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GRACE'S BLOG DEBUT

So far, only Diego and Lucas have made appearances on this blog. That's just because Grace is much more refined and a little shier than her two brothers. She's also still getting the hang of this "talking" thing. But she's improving daily. In fact, just this morning as we were watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, she was having a deep, existentialist conversation with her twin brother Diego. It was all about self-identity, assertiveness and, er, little green fairies. It went something like this...

Diego: Diego Mickey. Grace Minney.
Grace: No Diego.
Diego: Si.
Grace: No, Grace Pimpaba.
Diego: Pimpaba?
Grace: Si, pimpaba.
Diego: Diego Mickey.
Grace: Grace Pimpaba.

So there, settled.

She wasn't about to let Diego define her personality based on a cartoon character. She did it herself.

Oh, in case you don't speak 2-year old... PIMPABA = TINKERBELL.

SHAKESPEARE FOR TODDLERS

I'm gonna hire Brian Cox to Shakepearize my kids.

This is great.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loDMRzPiCic&feature=featured

CRAZY IS CRAZY... IN ANY LANGUAGE.

"Eh seor es oco." — Diego, 2.

Spanish translation: Ese señor está loco.
English translation: That man is crazy.

The story:

We were at a red light when a strange-looking character tapped on my window begging for money. I waved him off but he insisted. He wanted me to lower my window. I waved him off again, and just then, the light changed. He stepped aside and moved over to the sidewalk and I drove off. No one in the car said anything. BUt after a few minutes, Diego delivered his statement. I guess when you're two years old you already know the difference between normal behavior, and well, not "all there" behavior.

ME WRITING... LUCAS THINKING.

A conversation between Lucas and I.

I was writing down some of the things he was saying last night so I could post them on the blog. He saw me scribbling away and asked,

"Papi, what are you writing? What are you writing? Papi, Papi, what are you writing?"

I didn't answer right away because I was... er... writing.

So he just answered himself...

Oh, you're writing that you love your whole family.

I stopped writing and answered, "Yes."

My wife and I both smiled.

ROCKETS & TRAPEZOIDS

A monologue by Lucas, 4.

Do rockets have trapezoids?
How do you do a trapezoid?
Oops, I think I did a pallelelogram.
How do you draw a rocket with a trapezoid?

LITTLE TRAILER

Lucas: "What do you call the little part of the movie?"
Me: "What?"
Lucas: "Like the Toy Story 3 little part we saw."
Me: "Ah, that's called a trailer."
Lucas: "Trailer?"
Me: "Yes."
Lucas: "So we saw a little trailer."

WATER IS NOT CITY.

"Stingray City is not a city because water is not city." — Lucas, 4.